Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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