the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
