If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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