Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm getting married
To pizza
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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