I heard we made out
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
