I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
