Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
