i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
