Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
