there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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