I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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