Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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