Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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