There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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