you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize