before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
