I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
