He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
