CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
