she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
