i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
