I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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