he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Damn victory sex feels great
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
