i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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