oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
