does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
