I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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