it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
