Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
