i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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