I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
