the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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