i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
