She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
