You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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