i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
