i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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