It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
