I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
