Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
