Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
