apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
