Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
