I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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