why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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