Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
