Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
