"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
