Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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