I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When did angry sex become our thing?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
