We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
