I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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