I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
