it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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