You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
