plz talk dirty to me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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