It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
