Just fell off a train. Bad.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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