The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
did you just send me my own nude
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
