sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
