i think my tv is drunk
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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