just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
