he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
