i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Still dying that you shit outside
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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