All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
