So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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