he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
