Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
